Name: Kevin
Alias: The Cheese Monster
Status: At Large
Kevin continues to evade capture despite leaving a trail of cheese crumbs at nearly every reported crime scene.
Kevin may look innocent, but Cat Crimes investigators know better. Known throughout the neighbourhood as The Cheese Monster, Kevin has spent years perfecting the art of locating, stealing and consuming cheese of every variety.
From mature cheddar and creamy brie to stilton and mozzarella, no dairy product is safe when Kevin is on the prowl. Investigators report that Kevin can often be found lurking near refrigerators, patiently waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Witnesses have described hearing suspicious rustling from the kitchen, followed by the unmistakable sound of enthusiastic cheese consumption. Despite being apprehended on numerous occasions, often while surrounded by crumbs and overwhelming evidence, Kevin continues to deny all allegations.
His official statement remains:"I was simply conducting a routine inspection of the fridge."
Authorities consider Kevin highly motivated, extremely persistent and unlikely to reform. Cheese owners are advised to remain vigilant and secure all dairy products at all times.
Cheese Tax Exemption
Anyone providing information leading to the suspect's capture will receive temporary exemption from the mandatory Cheese Tax and official Cat Crimes bragging rights.
• The Cheese Cartel Boss
• The Cheddar Bandit
• The Swiss Swindler
• The Parmesan Pilferer
• The Mozzarella Mobster
• The Cheese Tax Collector
• The Midnight Muncher
• The Refrigerator Rascal
• Suspect seen near kitchen at 03:14am.
• Cheese drawer found open.
• Witness reports suspicious crunching noises.
• Remains unrepentant.
• Considered highly motivated when cheddar is involved.
• Refuses to answer questions without legal representation and snacks.
• Investigators advised not to leave cheese unattended. within a 20-metre radius.
• Paw prints recovered from three separate cheese-related incidents.
• Grand Theft Cheese.
• Aggravated Dairy Theft.
• Unlawful Consumption of Mature Cheddar.
• Possession of Stolen Stilton.
• Repeat Fridge Raiding.
• Illegal Entry to the Cheese Drawer.
• Destruction of Evidence (Eating It).
• Organised Dairy Crime
• Failure to Declare Snack Possession.
• Being Adorably Guilty Beyond Reasonable Doubt.
• Can be distracted by Cheddar.
• The sound of a refrigerator door opening.
• Cheese wrappers.
• Freshly grated cheese.
• Being offered "just a tiny piece".
• Belly rubs after a successful cheese heist.
• Somebody shouting cheese Kevin.
• Kitchen worktop Near the fridge.
• Behind the cheese board.
• Pretending to be asleep on the sofa.
• Near the fridge.
• Last spotted near the dairy aisle pretending to be interested in absolutely nothing.
• Seen lurking behind the kitchen bin moments before a block of cheddar disappeared.
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