Name: Tinkerbell
Alias: The Lazy Assasin
Status: At Large
Escaped from house arrest. Believed to be hiding near comfortable cushions and sunny windowsills.
Tinkerbell first came to the attention of Cat Crimes investigators following a long-running campaign of hostility directed at almost everyone she encountered. Visitors, delivery drivers, neighbours, and even fellow household pets have all reported receiving the suspect's trademark look of complete disapproval. Despite numerous complaints, investigators were unable to secure a conviction, largely because Tinkerbell reserves all affection exclusively for her mum and immediately resumes her innocent act whenever witnesses are present.
Authorities later placed the suspect under house arrest after repeated offences involving excessive napping, demanding royal treatment, and refusing to acknowledge the existence of anyone she deemed unworthy of her attention. The arrangement appeared successful until Tinkerbell removed herself from supervision and escaped confinement. She remains at large and is believed to be hiding in plain sight, occupying sunny windowsills and luxury cushions while continuing to receive special treatment from her mum. Investigators warn that while the suspect may appear cute and harmless, she has shown no interest in forming friendships and is known to dislike almost everybody except her chosen human.
Reward: Official Cat Crimes Bragging Rights
Information Leading to Her Capture: Report sightings near cushions, heated blankets, sunny windowsills, or her mum. Suspect remains highly uncooperative and refuses to associate with most members of the public.
• The Lazy Assassin
• Her Royal Laziness
• The Cushion Queen
• Queen of the Windowsill
• The Duchess of Disapproval
• The Crowned Menace
• Suspect displays extreme loyalty to a single human known only as "Mum". All attempts by investigators to gain her trust have ended in failure.
• Frequently observed occupying the warmest seat in the house while refusing to acknowledge the existence of other household members.
• Despite her reputation as "The Lazy Assassin," investigators believe the suspect is highly intelligent and deliberately uses naps as a cover for her activities.
• Investigators remain baffled by the suspect's ability to evade capture despite spending most of the day asleep in plain sight.
• We know exactly where she is. The problem is nobody wants to be the one to tell her she has to move.
• Aggravated Laziness.
• Resisting Social Interaction.
• Possession of an Inflated Sense of Importance.
• First Degree Side-Eye.
• Escaping House Arrest.
• Public Displays of Disapproval.
• Failure to Acknowledge Visitors.
• Her Mum. Investigators have repeatedly observed the suspect abandoning all criminal activity when her chosen human is nearby.
• Heated Blankets.
• Freshly Fluffed Cushions.
• Being Told She's Pretty.
• Warm Laps (Mum's Only).
• Chin Scratches (From Mum Only).
• Tinkerbell escaped house arrest when investigators briefly looked away. Her crown, collar, and identification tag were discovered abandoned at the scene. The suspect remains at large and is believed to be hiding somewhere comfortable..
• Thought to be hiding somewhere comfortable following her escape from house arrest. Investigators continue to follow leads.
• Seen relaxing in a patch of afternoon sunshine. The suspect appeared unconcerned by her wanted status.
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