CAT CRIMES HQ
CASE FILE
#010

Tinkerbell

Code Name: Her Royal Laziness
Cat Crimes HQ
At Large
Cat Crimes HQ
Classification Diamond Circle Enforcer
Alias
The Lazy Assassin
Status
At Large
Primary Crime
Contract Elimination Specialist (Although everyone suspects she usually falls asleep before carrying out the contract.)
Criminal Gang
The Diamond Circle
Known Associate
Beatrice Diamond
Weakness
Mum's Lap & Heated Blankets
Reward Offered
Official Cat Crimes HQ commendation and unlimited bragging rights for information leading to Tinkerbell's capture. Investigators advise extreme caution when approaching the suspect during nap time.
★ Intelligence Summary ★

Tinkerbell is considered one of The Diamond Circle's most influential operatives despite displaying remarkably little enthusiasm for physical activity. Investigators believe she maintains authority through silence, intimidation and a highly developed ability to make everyone around her feel deeply disappointing.

Although the suspect spends much of each day asleep on premium cushions, heated blankets and sunny windowsills, surveillance suggests she remains fully aware of everything happening nearby. She has an uncanny ability to appear the moment food, affection or royal treatment becomes available.

Her official statement remains:
"Royalty does not rush."

Intelligence indicates that Tinkerbell answers directly to Beatrice Diamond and is occasionally entrusted with sensitive Diamond Circle assignments. Most operations are delayed, however, until the suspect has completed her current nap and decided the matter is worthy of her attention.

Despite her reputation as The Lazy Assassin, investigators believe her inactivity may be deliberate. By remaining perfectly still and appearing completely uninterested, Tinkerbell encourages others to lower their guard before delivering one of her trademark expressions of total disapproval.

Fellow members of The Diamond Circle appear to treat Tinkerbell with an unusual level of respect despite her relaxed attitude. Investigators believe this is partly due to her calm judgement and partly because nobody has ever been brave enough to wake her when she is sleeping. As a result, the suspect has earned an almost untouchable reputation within the organisation.

INVESTIGATOR GUIDANCE: DO NOT DISTURB THE SUSPECT WHILE SLEEPING UNLESS EQUIPPED WITH PREMIUM TREATS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM MUM.
★ Known For ★
  • 👑 Expecting royal treatment from absolutely everyone
  • 😾 Delivering devastating side-eyes to anyone she considers beneath her
  • 😴 Sleeping through Diamond Circle meetings without consequence
  • 💎 Serving as one of Beatrice Diamond's most trusted enforcers
  • 🪟 Occupying the sunniest windowsills while observing the world with complete indifference
  • 🙄 Judging investigators in complete silence until they leave
  • ❤️ Showing genuine affection only to her mum
Evidence Photograph
Tinkerbell sitting on a windowsill wearing her identification tag
Evidence Ref: CC-010-E01 Surveillance officers located the suspect on her preferred windowsill while still wearing her identification tag. She made no attempt to hide, glared at investigators and returned to sleep.
CAT CRIMES HQ • CASE CONCLUSION
WHY CHASE THE WORLD...
WHEN THE WORLD SHOULD COME TO ME?